The tantric sexes practices I learned below were through private studies I had with a master. I've also studied yoga, massage, human anatomy, and energy medicine.
My teacher and I worked out a trade. I specialized in Yoga Therapeutics. The instructor had some type of injury. I wanted to learn to be a better lover. The tantric practices I had learned until that time had been purely scholarly and philosophical.
The literal translation of Tantra is to weave or loom. It relates to the different hats we wear as a householder. Its teacher, student, lover, provider, father, mother, friend, etc.
Tantra is desire, knowledge, and action. Traditional Tantra at its essence is the dance between male and female energy. Tantra is recognizing the beauty within yourself and celebrating it. Share that radiance with your lover.
1. Intimacy is the key to Tantra. Great communication with your lover will create intimacy. - Discuss your fantasies with your partner. This will create excitement, opportunities for play, and roleplay. It also makes us vulnerable.
- Set the mood with light, smell, and sacred space.
- Bring your lover a gift. It can be an orange or something much nicer. It doesn't matter but it sets the stage for an energetic tantric experience to unfold.
- Visuals are very important. The sacred space should be clean not cluttered.
- Light some candles! If you have a light on your nightstand, keep it on but put a dish towel or t-shirt over it! This will create more light so you can see and be stimulated but not too bright.
- Burn some Palo Santo. This is an incredible wood from Peru that clears energy and is just becoming popular. It will blow your mind! They have whole foods, Amazon, etc.
- Put on some essential oil or perfume. Also you can use a diffuser.
- Dress the part. Lingerie, stockings, or just adorn the temple of you for your partner. This will make them feel special.
- Make sure you are freshly shaved and clean. Most women do not like a scruffy face on their sensitive parts. A beard is different.
- Touch your partner from the tips of their toes to the top of their head. Do it with your eyes closed and feel their energy. Have a very light touch. Just the tips of your fingers. You can pure while you do it.
- Massage your partner.
Do you have pure, organic coconut oil? This is an awesome massage oil and you can put this anywhere. It will be absorbed into the skin. Grab it from your kitchen and bring it into the bedroom.
Rub your partners back, chest, legs, butt
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When you using these products more is better than less. If you washing your sheets is your biggest problem, you are winning!!
- (Advanced) Ask your partner to keep their eyes open during orgasm. Ask them to keep their eyes open during oral sex, other aspects of your lovemaking and it will create intense intimacy. Consider incorporating a mirror.
2. Vibration is a key component. Try humming into your partner's ear while kissing it. Our ears and our feet connect to all of our organs and are very sensitive.
- Play great music and make sure its warm enough. Sade on Spotify is great!! also searching music for lovers, chill music etc.
- Have a great speaker for the music
- Have heard of Sting talking about a 45 min orgasm? It relates to vibration. I can't speak for him but everything in the universe is pulsating. Your love life, money, health, happiness, etc.
- Think of rhythm and pulsation as you engage with your partner. This intention will allow you to be present in the unknown. This is where the magic happens.
- Be patient and slow down. Then maybe speed up. Connect this with your breath. Check in with your partner. This is Tantra.
- Having an intention vs an expectation will serve you well.
- Talk dirty to your partner. Fake it till you make it! This comes back to intimacy.
- Give them feedback about what you like and don't like. Encourage what is feeling good. If you are reading this blog, you are probably an overachiever. In my universe, we all want to be the best. Best lover, cook, dad, lover etc.
- Don't focus on the end result, an orgasm. Enjoy the presence of your partner and be grateful.
- Get a scarf and blindfold your lover. This will make their other senses heightened. It will also create a Dom/ Submissive energy which can be very exciting.
- Do you have any rope? lol, I'm serious. A scarf, an iPhone cord, a yoga strap. These can all work. Make sure the person you are tying up has a safe word just in case.
I'm in love with Shibari! Shibari is a mystical and spiritual Japanese bondage practice. (Google it!) That's another post.
Tantra is doing for another without expectation and they will automatically want to do for you! It's that simple.
Breath is what makes yoga a mindful practice. It also is what moves our life force. In Sanskrit, its called Prana. We need to move this Prana around the whole body. Not just in our genitals. Without a connection to your breath or that of your partner, you are not doing a tantric practice.
- Ujayi breath. This is a more forceful breath. Play with this breath technique in your lovemaking.
The first breath to master is the one below.
- When kissing your partner, breath each others breath. Slow down.
You can have your partner sit on your lap and just exchange each others breath
Feel it moving up your Shushumna. This is your central energy channel in line with the front of your spine. Play with your breath during the entire session. Controlling your breath is the key to controlling your orgasm.
Trying combining two or three of these principles together to engage yourself fully. For most of you, just try a few things here to start and then build on this. Just like a home yoga practice. I'm SURE this can be overwhelming.
You got this! Take action! Tantra is Desire, Knowledge and Action.
Let me know your thoughts,
Founder of kuohunkennel